10:51pm Tuesday 6/25/2024
Last night at the welcome meeting, we were talking about the scripture that Dan had prepared for us (Mark 5:21-43). It was a story of Jairus, asking to have his daughter healed, and then the woman who touched Jesus threads and was healed in the crowds as they walked to Jairus’s Home.I commented how wonderful it was to have this Bible verse review after watching the chosen (I still always cry seeing this scene). I mentioned how I was raised Methodist and had gone to countless classes and lectures, but the Bible never meant anything to me at all. But now to see and hear about these passages again, now they were so clear from The Chosen. They become so much more real, and viable for us.
It’s wonderful to share and talk about this with the men in our group. Everyone agreed and understood. Then on Tuesday morning when I woke up doing the Exodus AP, and turned on the JoyFM. I listened to the Family Focus and then Charles Stanley doing my morning exercises. I was getting ready to leave to get to the men’s fraternity. Then I stopped to listen to the morning prayer at JoyFM, and Bill started speaking about watching the last episode of The Chosen.
He said how it ended with Lazarus and Jesus talking about the Old Testament, where Isaiah prophesied about Jesus, his death and suffering. Lazarus said that it was so powerful for him now because the words on the paper didn’t really mean anything, while Jesus sitting now before him was his friend (Isaiah:53).
It was really wonderful to have that experience of hearing that as I was biking to the men’s group. I remember biking home the night before, thinking I was just going to sleep and get up in the morning to bike back again. I realized how wonderful it was to have Jesus as my priority now. I really understood this and accepted it.
I realized I always sort of listen to Jesus, I never really knew what it was all about. But it was always very real for me to hear the voices, and understand the direction I was getting all the time. So after the rosary when the men’s group got together and soon it was my turn to talk about my week.
I realize that in the last week, my spiritual director had confronted me about priorities and how getting a job was important. I really wasn’t concerned about it, as Jesus always provided for me. Of course, that same afternoon that I was confronted about a job, I got a call about a job with St Pete College. But the truth is Jesus is my priority taking my time to write now and share the truth of what Jesus does for me.
I remember again when Christopher moved to Boston to get another degree. Kim and I took them to dinner at the Front Porch and we were just chatting and reminiscing about our times together. Then Kim told them about the new roof. She decided to buy the house from me and her mortgage company asked for a new roof. It was Friday a week before the closing and I ran into a handyman next door fixing something for a neighbor. I just saw the truck and his tools as he was leaving and I asked him if he ever replaced a roof. He said no, but he had a buddy who did. The next day they visited and started replacing the roof. I agreed to five thousand for the new roof, but then had to run to Home Depot when they wanted to replace some boards.
Anyway, Kim was totally perplexed sharing this story. Who in their right mind waits until the last week to find a new roof? And then recruits a random stranger in the street. No quotes, no references, nothing but trusting divine providence. And then beyond all understanding, the roof was replaced that very weekend. Literally started on the next day. And I even got my homeowners insurance to pay for it, since the roof was leaking. So then Kim closed on the sale Wednesday. . . But what it was all about is the life, that I’ve lived.
I said to my Spiritual Director, it’s much like I played basketball all my life and now with the Catholic Church I’m learning all the rules. Yes, it’s always been a relationship with Jesus. Like getting my truck fixed and knowing I have to get online and fix this writing that I started earlier this week. Yes, Jesus asks me to write all the time. I need to record this experience I share with Him.
It’s always a challenge to write and think about what He does. But I’m always listening and trying to do whatever He wants me to do. I guess, He really wants me to take care of my house, that He’s given me now. I’ve tried to do so many things around here that I can’t seem to get things done. Every day He is asking me to do more. Take care of the garden. Take care of the kitchen, take care of the pantry. and “Don’t forget to eat a real meal.” . . . . lol, yes I know and none of the processed crap . . .
I know more and more of our food system is getting corrupted and destroyed. I also know I’m gonna be feeding people more and more myself. It’s really something He’s told me about for a long time. Sometimes I kinda understand and sometimes I don’t. But I guess now again, I’m learning and growing. Like the experience with Kim and Christopher at the Front Porch, I never even noticed what happened, but just flowed through the experiences as I was Given, taking my place and responsibility, and TRUSTING IN FAITH! Giving the related cultural perspective to me was such a blessing, as I never noticed I did anything differently than anyone else.
Thank you so so much Jesus for sharing this time with me. Thank you for this wonderful life, that You’ve given me. Thank You for leading and guiding me to do more every day. I know You will always provide for me. I know that I’m always safe. I know You’re on Your way back. Please help me to be ready and listen and follow all You ask. For the glory, of Father Son and Holy Ghost, amen.
6:54am Wednesday June 26th, 2024
As I got downstairs to start putting new shelves in my pantry. I brought my iPad and iPhone with me because I knew I had to edit this page and add links in. Something about the real places and real experiences makes reading this so much more real for people. . . Yeay, whatever!
So I got downstairs and plugged in my iPhone and turned on the radio again. . . And this song came on OUTLINING my Priorities AGAIN!
The story of me was a story of shameWrong turns written on every pageSo many parts that were so messed upBut I love the part where You showed upRewriting my past, rewriting my hurtLine by line, word by wordAnd now my story is livin' proofThere's not a chapter that you can't useMy story, Your gloryMy pain, Your purposeMy mess, Your messageIn all things, I know You're workin'One life, one missionOne reason why I'm livin'All for You, not for meMy story, Your gloryNow the story of me is a story of graceFingerprints of mercy on every pageNo more ashamed of the path I tookYou set me free to be an open bookIf even my scars are part of Your planTake all of my heart, Lord, here I amMy only cause 'til You call me homeIs knowin' You more and makin' You knownMy story, Your gloryMy pain, Your purposeMy mess, Your messageIn all things, I know You're workin'One life, one missionOne reason why I'm livin'All for You, not for meMy story, Your gloryAll of me, all for YouLet all I say and all I doPoint to the one who changed my lifeAnd let me speak the legacy I leave behindMy story, Your gloryMy pain, Your purposeMy mess, Your messageIn all things, I know You're workin'One life, one missionOne reason why I'm livin'All for You, not for meMy story, Your glory
Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, , , , yes I just looked this song up on my iPhone and “cut and pasted” from the iPhone to the IPad. . . . Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ you are the COOLEST as the technology catches up to my desire to serve You!! Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to Achieve Your Glory. . .Amen
2 comments:
OK, I had a weird sensation reading this again. I can’t tell the story, but I know I have to. I guess I should start by saying when my mom died I never cried. By the time I got to high school I had stopped crying completely. My whole childhood was beating the greed machine. But with that meant I was getting in trouble all the time, and spanked by my dad. I really didn’t understand what that meant for so many years, As it was like a habit, something that I expected every night.
I remember, when I finally came home after my Fat Ram experience. I was still going out drinking with buddies from college. I had my little rabbit racing around like a madman still. One time we’re coming home from some bar, completely drunk. I was flying down the main drag into town. I remember pointing at the gas station, where the cops always hid behind the billboard, I’m laughing as I sped-up instead of slowing down.
Moments later, the sirens were spinning behind us, and the two guys in the backseat were yelling at me to slow down. I turned off my headlights. Yeah, if they can’t see me, they can’t catch me… Wow, the guys started yelling a lot more all of a sudden and I decided, OK fine I’ll stop. Of course, then the car pulled-in, right in front of me from the next town over and the other cop behind me from my town.
So my town cop walked up, looked in my window cursed, and then walked up to the cop in front of me and sent them off; came back YELLING AT US: “weaver, Do you know what your father is gonna do to you, If I give you a ticket now, I could arrest you and put you in jail, anybody else have a drivers license in there? OK you drive, take him home.”
Like so many things in my life, it happened so fast I could barely understand what it really meant. Years later, I realized that when I got into my accident, cops never bothered me anymore. I returned the explosives to the high school so I could return to school again, and nobody ever bothered me. Then I realized my dad had picked me up at the police station once when I got arrested; and he was swinging the belt in the car, before we got out of the parking lot and a cop actually had witnessed that. So the cops never arrested me anymore, because they didn’t want anything to do with it. It was like they already knew I was getting punished, so why should they add to it?
Thanks Kim for teaching me to cry again. I’ll love you forever! Can’t wait till you come to visits my mom’s house! She would love to meet you! 😇🙏😂💫💥🌟✨🌈
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